On Wednesday, June 24th, Mississippi Parish’s mascot, Marlin the Megalodon, was stolen. The heist was executed during dodgeball by members of Sabine Parish. This was confirmed through photo evidence secured by The Daily Magnolia of PC Rocky holding the startled sea creature, as well as testimony from members of the parish.
The heist symbolizes a mean streak of theft for Sabine Parish, as earlier in the week they stole Pearl Parish’s Pearl Cup.
The plot was uncovered by Magnolia reporters after asking a string of people. In the pursuit of the most accurate news possible, our reporters tracked down one of the perpetrators of the kidnapping and interviewed them, though they wished to remain anonymous.
When asked about how they pulled it off, the perpetrator said that it was “really easy; the shark was left unattended” and that they had “pulled it off twice. The first time they took it back, but they left it unattended again.” The perpetrator we interviewed stated that he did not work alone but declined to name the other two assailants. When asked if he would consider doing it again, he answered, “Yeah, we’ll probably catch them lacking.”
There were also whispers of a multi-parish covert operation to steal Pearl Parish’s sloth, Jameson, that transpired during dodgeball. Although no substantial information has been uncovered, The Daily Magnolia is constantly looking for new leads regarding the theft of mascots.