What’s the deal with all these mascots? While they’re all fun and unique in their own right, some possess far deeper and stranger lore than you may initially expect. Here at the Magnolia Press, we were determined to get to the bottom of the mascots’ backstory and, in doing so, managed to unveil a heated rivalry.
One of the junior counselors for Sabine, JC Luke, shared with our interviewers the comedic yet harrowing tale of their K-pop demon dog mascot, Denom. According to Sabine Parish lore, Denom is infected with “Jeanitis,” a condition contracted from the Jean Boy. When asked if identifying this Jean Boy would be possible, he refused to comment. A representative of Jorts, he also reportedly inspires his parish through his swagger and carefree attitude. When JC Luke was asked about the other parishes’ mascots, he stated that Pearl’s was “soulless.” This intriguing statement led our interviewers to speak with a junior counselor of the Pearl Parish.
Among the parishes, Pearl stands out as the only one to claim multiple mascots: the Pearl, Sloth, Pearly the Platypus, and Doofenschmirtz. Though their JC chose to remain anonymous, he was still willing to divulge quite a bit of information on his parish’s main mascot, the Sloth. According to our source, their mascot is simply a chill guy, which he believes to be the source of Sabine’s suspicion. He noted that the sloth in particular is the “B-E-S-T best” and better than the “R-E-S-T rest.”
Clearly, when it comes to crafting lore for their parishes’ mascots, the JCs don’t mind indulging in a bit of absurd humor.